A Goal for Lent

Now it might seem odd that I am talking about ‘Post Lent’ as Lent is just about to start, but with every journey, it is important to have your eyes on the finish line. Lent is a time for fasting, but it can be done wrong, and with the wrong focus. So I have been asking myself what the right focus should be. 

While reading through the gospels researching times when Jesus fasted and benefitted from it, in preparation for lent, I read on past the events recorded in Luke’s gospel, one verse. And in this verse I thought it was really interesting to see what had happened to Jesus after His 40 day fast in the desert in which in was tempted to a higher degree than we would ever expect to be tempted. 

Lk 4:14 says that ‘Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit…’. 

What is the link here, and is this something that we can hope for when we part take in lent for the right reasons. 

It is true that the bible never commands us to do lent, and some churches don’t practise it for that reason, but I believe it is also a choice in which to focus on our relationship with Jesus, putting aside all distractions, and things we might even depend on too much. 

Now Jesus fasted to the extreme and ate nothing at all for the 40 days, which can actually be very dangerous for the lifestyle many of us in western culture leads. If I was to not eat for 40 days straight, I would have to stop working out, I’d have to make sure I don’t walk too far each day, and I certainly would have a struggle with work, and concentration towards the end. What it did do for Jesus though was to learn to fully depend on God, His Father in Heaven. The temptations he faced would be a lot easier to resist if he had a belly full of food to help Him focus more. But when you are hungry and have the power to turn a stone to bread, it is very hard not to use that for personal gain. 

He was training Himself in this time, and this should be how 21st Century Christians should see this time too. It is very hard to resist a temptation if you have never had to resist before, and can be really hard to do when it really matters and when you least expect it. 

Jesus then returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit. He returned with so much more mental and spiritual strength, and had found a new peace in His relationship with His father. He knew even more what His mission was, and the enemy would have a much harder time tempting Him from that path. You could say that He was so much more aware of the Holy Spirit in Him, because He had spent so long listening to Him, and being strengthened.

We celebrate lent now in the lead up to Easter to spend time to focus on the cross, and to strengthen our own relationship with Our Father in heaven. Now some of that language might even be a little much for some, but it is a time to put aside what we know distracts us, or what we think we just can’t go without. Unless its prescribed medication, or a certain diet, or water, we probably can live without it. We don’t realise what we put in the way of our relationship with God until we choose to go without for a while. 

So why don’t we just do 40 straight days like Jesus did? We still have to remember that Sundays are celebrations and feast days, days where we can enjoy these things, and hopefully, after giving them up for a while, be thankful for them instead of taking them for granted. 

There is also the important element of repentance. In the UK, and many other western cultures, the first day of Lent is called Ash Wednesday. There a a few times in the bible (OT), where certain people who had been in a time of repentance (they knew they had done wrong, and wanted to show that they were turning to God for forgiveness), would tear their clothes off, dress in a sack-cloth and put ashes on their head. Now we don’t do this, and don’t need to as Jesus has paid the price for our sin, but we can still use this time to focus on how He has done it, and our need for Jesus. 

With so many distractions today, it can be hard to even recognise we need a saviour, that we need to be saved. So taking away these distractions can really help us to be thankful and spend time shaking off that guilt that we put on ourselves. 

So by focussing for so long on God, we end up being thankful for Him, and are so much more open for the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, living in His strength and not ours, and therefore we are walking in the power of the Spirit. It then so much easier to be there for people, talk about our experiences and help others follow the same way, essentially teaching them.. Just as Jesus did on His return from the wilderness. 

Living in the power of the Spirit isn't about walking around being ‘holier than thou’ and telling everyone they need to change, or even praying for everything that moves being we are ‘oh so spiritual’ (yes I have come across both types of people), but living in knowledge of who we are in Christ (our identity), knowing that we are loved no matter what, and be open to letting the Holy Spirit work in us. 

If that means we have the courage to pray for someone to be healed then great, or if that means living in a more fruitful personal prayer life then thats amazing. It is through that, that Jesus’ power reaches others. 

I feel like (and I know I might be generalising here) that many Christians think that living in the power of the Spirit means going out, shoving the Gospel down peoples throats, praying in public to an extent that it makes people feel uncomfortable, judging others of their sins without even knowing them (or checking their own eyes for ‘logs’ first), and just lording their faith over others. 

Furthermore, I think that living in the Power of the Spirit is being sure of your relationship with Jesus, being sure of His love for you, and letting that love pour out. Jesus came out of that time in the desert knowing all of this, and He knew exactly who He was talking to when He taught in the synagogues, and did it with the authority He has from God, because He knew His identity, and spend time with Him. 

For lent this year, I am giving up TV and films and Xbox gaming, as I know I get distracted by binge watching Netflix shows. Annie and I did this last year, and it was very fruitful. My prayer is that this year it will be even more fruitful, and that we will come out of it the other side ‘living in the Power of the Spirit’ being more sure of who we are and more open to what God is doing in us. 

BIG UPDATE

Hello to all my readers, and supporters!

This is going to be a big update, spread over a few blog posts... There are a few reasons to why I haven't posted anything for 6 months, and why there hasn't been a paper newsletter...

Firstly, the first year of marriage is a hard one! However much people say that nothing will change when you get married, it does, it will, and it will keep changing... so I have taken a break to settle into this new life... I feel bad as there are many people neither of us have spoken to since the wedding or the blessing, or even published pictures for people to see... and it's not that we don't like you, it's just a lot to take in. I think the first year of marriage is the hardest because you have to make changes for the other person. I don't agree with people who say that they won't change or can't change... change is hard, but any marriage to work, both parties must be willing to change and adapt... and TALK! Next weekend is our 1 Year Anniversary, very exciting times.

From our Official Wedding Album

Secondly, so much has happened in the ministry, we have seen growth, and some of the youth going deeper in their faith. This term we started Youth Alpha, (for those who haven't heard of it , it's the Alpha Course for young people. If you haven't heard of Alpha, google it!) and also I created a small team of young leaders. There are many potential leaders in this group, but I needed to start with a few, and I have invested a lot of time to them too... So when I have had time off and holiday, time I would usualy spend blogging, or writing a newsletter, I have been spending time with my wife, and sleeping, and switching off with Netflix (Something which I have given up for lent, in order to spend more time blogging, reading the bible and talking to my wife...brownie points have come in their hundreds this month).

From our Youth Alpha Course we are currently in the middle of. 

So over the next few week I will be updating you all on what has been going on this year, the first Youth retreat in October last year, young leadership, Youth Alpha, the Youth Alpha away day where God met us and worked in my tiredness and weakness, the agreed extension to my time at Fishers Creek, our future plans (including Annie's exceptance for ordination in Sweden's free church, Equmeniakyrkan), and how you can help in prayer and financially). plus much more which all a little mushed in my head right now.

2 of the youth at the our Youth Alpha Weekend away! 

I will also be interspersing a few theological posts, using some of my sermons that I have been pretty happy with, and some of the teaching that I have been through with the youth, and the journey God has taken us all on. Last term we spent some a few months discussing mask's that we wear, either we choose them, or we don't realise we are wearing them and how finding our identity in Christ can help these masks crumble and that we can be way more true to ourselves that we ever though possible.

This is going to be fun, and good to reflect back on a very busy but fruitful year of ministry so far... not that I am bragging, just grateful for the position God has got me in, and the work He is using me in. It is all for His glory!

Over and out,

The Captain

The mystery of Liquorice.

This is just a short blog post to rant about liquorice and Swedish people.

Yes I am generalising, but all Swedish people LOVE liquorice, and its disgusting. I am trying to like it, keep and open mind about it and go back to eat it, but I still cant.

What is worse is that they add SALT to it. It's enough that the sweet itself makes you sick, but to then add salt, its just not right. Above is a picture of me trying some of my colleagues liquorice...

I just picked up some sweets, and Swedes do sweets well, but they mix the liquorice in with the normal sweets. I feel like I should try, make an effort to accept this part of the Swedish culture. Really embrace their odd ways of life, and I will really try. Running long distances, skiing down steep slopes, having coffee instead of blood running through my veins, eating lots of dairy, and cycling on the right is all fine... but this one will take some getting used to.

Anyway, for those of my supporters who read, my next newsletter is about to be released. If you are new to this blog, and would like a copy, please email me jasonkirk84@gmail.com, and I will add you to the mailing list. Its a bumper issue with a review of my first year on mission. Hope you are as excited as this dog...

Glad Midsommar from Sweden!

Today is the Swedish holiday of Midsommar, celebrated on the longest day of the year. The origins of the festival is prominently pagan, however it has shed all of its original meaning in 2013, and it now just a Swedish tradition where you meet friends ad have BBQ's. Much like every weekend in the summer now. 

The idea is that you make a hole in the ground, and put a large pole in it and dance around it in a folk-dance fashion. 'Like a maypole?' I hear you British readers think. Yes! However, the shape of the pole is a little more symbolic of fertility than bells and sticks. 

The head dresses you see Annie and I wearing are the typical Midsommar crowns that we made at the start. Normally just the women have flowers in, but I wanted to really experience the culture. 

It was great to get a taste of this Swedish holiday. My wife tells me that Midsommar is the second of two days of the years when all the shops close, Christmas Day being the second. The advantage of this being that Sunday is the start of the Midsommar sales, much we see of Boxing Day in the UK. 

I am getting used to the Swedish way of life. With this time of year bringing many bank holidays. In Sweden, the bank holiday isn't just the day it self, but the day after as well. Not something that I hear many complaining about. 

We are having a Midsommer BBQ this evening with friends, so we are hoping the weather holds out. Annie tells me that rain is also common for this day, which is a little disappointing. It doesn't dampen our spirits as much as the ground though. 

Glad Midsommar! 

The Captain

Sermon on the Creek - Social Revolution

Yesterday I preached at Fishers Creek. It was my first full sermon to the congregation. I have done many talks, some as long as 45minutes to the youth and a few 10-15 minute short sermons and discussion introductions in the main church, but this was the first time I was providing the main teaching of the meeting. And it went well. Over the last 3 years full time, and 2 years in volunteering I have been training, for all different types of ministry, also including relationship building and discipleship, the gift of teaching is something I have really been praying for. In the last year, I have been starting off/carrying on a youth ministry and within that, I have been preparing from 2 to 4 lots of teaching a week, on all different areas of the bible and the Christian life. So it was a nice feeling to have done my first full sermon.

The title was Social Revolution and was on 1 Corinthians 7:17-24. It was a hard passage as it was in the middle of Paul's instruction on marriage so could be quite confusing as to why it was there. I looked deeper and found something quite remarkable. Paul was challenging the attitudes of the people who were struggling to see that they were free in Christ, and also under Christs authority at the same time. The metaphors of circumcision and slavery can be confusing but as always with biblical interpretation you need to understand the context a book or letter was written in to get the full meaning. 

It comes with a challenge for us though, to look at the attitudes of the situations we are in at the moment. We constantly want to be in better places, and have better jobs. We want better smart phones and technology (my struggle here), some people want better friends who can do more for them. But maybe we are in the place God wants us to be already. We are free, but not free to do whatever we want to without a care in the world, but we are free to choose God, and to choose His way. These are just a few highlights, if you want to read the full thing, then there is a link below. My favorite thing, was the structure of this passage, it can be compared to a club sandwich, an image I used from a book by Kenneth Bailey on the Culture of Paul's letter to Corinth. (Not the actual title). It worked very well for the sermon. 

I am pleased it went well, not in a proud 'I'm so good' kind of way, but in humilty, pleased that my prayers for this gift are being answered and humbled that I could be used to encourage the rest of the congregation in this way. I really enjoy teaching and I hope I get many more chances in different settings. I will try and share more of my teaching with you, and I will share future full sermons.

If you want to read it further, you can download it here

And look out for a year review newsletter coming your way in the summer. 

Over and out,

The Captain

New Newsletter!

So I have finally got my new newsletter out. It should have been a few weeks sooner, but the end of term is a month sooner in Sweden (they only have 2 terms of school), so by the time we were back from the honeymoon and the blessing in England, we both realised exactly how much work we had to do. Including a new newsletter for those of you who have been praying for me and supporting me in different ways.

I will post soon with details about the wedding, and the blessing with pictures but for now I wanted to give you access to my new newsletter and update you on a few more things. Here is the link to the PDF that you can download. 

I have also been talking a lot about how this would be a weekly blog and I would be sending a lot more updates your way. That was the plan, however things haven't happened that way, and I am just reflecting now on what has stopped me from doing that. One of the reasons that could contribute to it is a fear that a lot of people in ministry have, and that is the fear of failing, or the fear of being wrong. 

My first blog, Writings of a recently born-again Christian, had a lot more theological content and I felt more confident. I was new to be a Christian and I felt I couldn't really go wrong, but now I am in a position of authority in some way, I am on a leadership team of a church and sent as a mission partner to another country. In a sense I have a way to fall if something I say isn't really right. 7 years ago, if I was wrong I was new and humble enough to be corrected. But shouldn't it be the other way around? Shouldn't I be in a position of having more humility now? Shouldn't I be more accepting that I am human and can make mistakes? Instead it seems I have fallen into the trap of being proud of where I have gotten to, and have a fear of losing this. So much that if I am quiet then I can't say anything wrong. 

Now some of you might think that, yes, that is fine, proverbs 17:28 says 

Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent;

with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.

Which has its place, for sure. If you go back one verse it talks of how the truly wise have fewer words today, and in the next chapter of proverbs, we read that fools have no understanding, they just want to air their own opinions. Now I know I might upset some friends who are also bloggers, but this has been on my mind when I have considered blogging about a subject. I don't want to come across as just airing my opinions, but for what I have to say to have some kind of theological base. I have seen all to often in the Internet where someone has made a comment that is not quite theologically accurate whether it was a mistake or they meant to write it, to have the comment section full of other believers correcting them in full 'preaching' essays, or some judging fools telling them they are blaspheming and have somehow lost their salvation by writing that post. Very rarely do I see loving comments, or intellectual conversation around the subject. And to the onlooking eyes, which could easily be from someone who is considering the Gospel as truth, this is not giving a good picture of a Christian set apart for Christ.

I am very aware that I have lost my cover of being a new believer, so I can't hide behind that, but I think seeing those responses has put me off my desire for blogging about relevant subjects of how we can respond to our culture through our faith, in a world where being a Christian is harder and harder, and people are choosing to live easier lives within the distractions that the world has to offer. But I also remember that 7 years ago, my blogging sharpened my understanding of scripture, because conversations would lead me there. It also gave me the desire to know more, which was a factor in leading me to retrain as a youth pastor, and work with the awesome youth I work with now. 

Those who know me, know I am an extrovert and need to process outwardly. I also encourage people to question things. Even ask the hard questions of our own faith, to challenge of belief so that we can end up in closer relationship with Jesus. I am reminded of the man who doubted Jesus, and said 'if' you can... Then in his repentance declared 'Lord, I belief, help my unbelief.' How many of you readers need to pray this once in a while? I think in the Christian lifestyle, nothing is simple. Things happen daily to shake our faith in Jesus. And it is in those times we need to pray this pray. 'Lord, I believe in you, I believe you love me, and died for me, despite what I see in the news of the hurt and pain. Please Lord help my unbelief and help me overcome my doubt.' When we doubt we lose hope, and without hope we lose sight of Jesus, and His work on the Cross. If we weren't to doubt I often wonder what the result would be. We would have our faith, but our relationship with Jesus wouldn't go anywhere. It's like having a friend who you know is there, but you have no interest in knowing more, knowing why they do the things they do, or what their aim in life is. It's almost like a dead end. This doesn't fit into what Jesus says a life following Him would look like. He says that He came so that we could have life, and have to the full (John 10:10), so lets ask ourselves the questions, and expect answers that go beyond our wildest dreams, answers that will open up our minds and see what God really wanted for His people, and we might even catch a glimpse of heaven.

However, I have seen this with pastors who are well know for their evangelism, and have done great things to open up faith, who have really asked these questions and helped people find answers and have been victimised by their church, but when newcomers ask the same questions they are praised for it, encouraged to ask these questions. Something doesn't seem right there. If anything, the pastors who are asking these questions are leading by example of a living faith in Jesus, who satisfies our every need.

So I want to blog more, and write about relevant subjects about faith in our culture, but I am afraid when I see pastors being accused of heresy because they want to reach out to more people. I believe the Gospel is relevant to all people, but everyone comes from a different angle, and views Christianity and the Bible differently, so we need to find out where people are at. I know I am blogging with the risk of people challenging me, and I am open to correction in my writings, but I know by looking through the Acts of the apostles that we need to take risks to challenge this generation, the next generation and many generations to come. I, like every single person on earth, am not complete, I am still being created. I will not be finished until my last day on earth, and I am learning constantly through experiences and passing these on. So please remember this when you read this blog and all other blogs for that matter. 

My prayer, is that we are all in 'iron sharpening iron' correspondence, and critiques can be given in love and received in humility. We might not get it right, but that's why we have Jesus to correct us and set us straight. We can't get it right on our own. Ever. 

Settling is hard...

So it has been a while. I enjoy blogging a lot but a lot of the time I have to want to write about something important that would take an interest, but in the last 4 months the start of my mission has been hard. For those of you who know me, my can-do attitude and positive mindset has been telling the rest of me that 'Sure, its easy to start/take on a new ministry, learn a new language, settle into a new country AND plan a wedding will be EASY. I can do that, I can do anything.'

Well I was wrong, it is not easy. There has been no time to settle, when my schedule was full from the start, Wedding planning with your wife-to-be is a challenge when you have a difference in organisation styles, not to mention a difference in style and culture. Swedish is probably the most difficult of the european languages to learn (not that I've tried many, but its definitely harder than French or Spanish). I'm just glad we aren't planning this wedding in Swedish. Then 'Ja, älskling!' (Yes, darling) would be my only response.

So after a good start with learning Swedish on the government funded course I have delayed my classes to concentrate more on the young people, and plan our wedding. I have learnt a lot about prioritising the right things in life, and that Annie who will be my wife in 28 days time is a high priority and making this day the best day is important for our marriage and our calling in God's kingdom. This was a hard decision as me learning Swedish i important for me to understand Annie's culture, and a huge part of being a missionary. The highest priority though must be God, and doing His will. There is a constant pressure in life between pleasing people and pleasing God. And I want to be pleasing God in all that I do.

Equal to that is the job that God has sent me here to do. I love the youth group, and the youth are brilliant, and I need to be spiritually and physically fit to lead them. At the moment we have been going through a series I have adapted from my time at St B's called the 'Soundtrack to Life', using music videos and current media to access life issues we all go through and look at what the Bible says about them. Last week I used Ed Sheeran's 'Lego House' to talk about Jesus as our rock, and that God has the power to rebuild us into what we were meant to be. This is the lego house I built for it...

This is my masterpiece. As you can see the bottom is not very well made, which made my point in the teaching. Maybe I'll share that with you someday.

The biggest thing I have learnt about being on long-term mission is to not jump in too fast to what you are doing. Take time to see what culture you are moving into, and don't feel the pressure to do more than you have to. I have seen burnout before, and I am no use to anyone in that state. But more than that, just being here, I know God is using me to do his work, even in the small.

I also want to that the people who are supporting me, God is providing for me very well here. I am starting to make new friends, however much I am missing friends and family in the UK. I will be sending out a newsletter very soon. If you haven't received my october newsletter yet, then please let me know and I can send you a link.

Anyway, some of the feedback I got from my blogging is that they are too long, so hopefully I will be writing shorter blogs and more often.

Thanks for reading,

The Captain

The Importance of Coffee...

Ok, so I have taken up drinking coffee again. Not sure if this is the best of my ideas but I have felt sharper in the office, not that I have made colleagues bleed at the sight of me, I'm not that sharp (maybe on the football pitch) but it has helped. It even got to the point where I was handed my own sticker by one of the church administrators to stick on a church coffee mug, just so I had my own mug. Well, just out of consideration for the mug, I had to fill it with fresh filter coffee... but in a way I have never drunk coffee before. I had it BLACK, that is WITHOUT MILK!!!!! I don't know what I was thinking, but it was strong and I felt I needed to run 10k right at that moment. Since that day, I have had a coffee every day, even 2 or 3. I have also invested in one of these...

Which is Sweden's answer to a Starbucks card. This also allows me a whole 20% off one of these...

 So in terms of a ministry/missional blessing, this has to be good. Helps me to concentrate, and it gets me money off. So depending on your views on coffee, please support/pray for me, which ever you feel appropriate.

Another amazing discovery was The English Shop. Here are some of the wonders I found there, with the rough converted SEK to GBP cost (and the reason I bought nothing).

 £8

 about the same...

 Ok, so I can buy this in a Sweden supermarket, but it was nice to see a whole wall of it.

£1.80 a packet.

As you can see, it's a little much, but I still spent a good time in there, missing English supermarkets a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I am loving every minute of being here, the youth are all wonderful and I am loving getting to know them, and the church is fantastic. But nothing beats a cup of tea and a couple of custard cremes from the St B's biscuit tin. 

Also Annie and I have started doing the Alpha marriage course (minus the section that we will have to do after we are married...), run by the guy who is marrying us and is part of our marriage prep. We having a great time, investing in our relationship, and will I blog about that very soon as it really is an experience. 

And good news!! I am now officially sponsored by Stewardship, so anyone who would like to support me can now do that via Stewardship, and if you are a tax payer your giving can also be gift-aided. How cool is that? Get in touch if you would like to do that and I can send you a form. 

Thank you to those who are praying for me. Things are really moving over here. I am sending out a newsletter next week, so If you want to here all the news of the ministry then please also get in touch and i'll add you to the mailing list. Your prayers are hugely needed, and appreciated and I really believe they are making a difference. God is so good, and has been making settling in so smooth. Today I applied for my ID Card, the last piece of the puzzle to me being fully integrated into Sweden. Praise God. 

Over and out, 

The Captain!

I'm in the paper...

Well hello supporters, followers and anyone else who happens to fall upon this page. It is exactly 1 month since I have moved to Sweden and it has been fantastic, interesting, slightly stressful, trying, wet, windy, sunny, and brilliant. I have been through illnesses which have been nothing but aggravating when 3 days in I was diagnosed with pneumonia (a consultation that cost me £30 as I wasn't registered in Sweden) and given a second dose of antibiotics in less than a week. The first lot was for a bowel infection, those at Soul Survivor with me would have seen the affects of that. Now I am nearly fully recovered, and already stuck into this wonderful job, and using my spare time to protest against a huge injustice!

Ok, so that sounds a little general, but the protesting did happen. It was about 2 Iranian woman who were being refused asylum and being sent back to Iran. They had become Christians during their stay here and were to face the death penalty because of the conversion. I was told that the migrations board had not believed their story, but apparently this was due to poor interpretations. The protest was started by their Pastor who baptized them and could vouch for their faith. So the demonstration was to stop them being put on the plane and to buy more time to give them a fair hearing. And we were successful. We handed out letters to anyone on the same flight as them, asking them to stand up and refuse to be on the same flight as these women. Lufthansa were notified about this before the flight and had refused to carry them. However to be sure, their pastor got on the same flight and saw the rest of the passengers standing up, as asked in protest of the injustice. Makes my heart just warm up hearing about this event.

The women were taken to Franfurt another way, but when they got there they were brought back to Sweden and are waiting for the next step. Please pray for them, we are doing all we can, but I believe that prayer works and is powerful and effective!

I am planning a newsletter soon, as so much has happened already and I have been very busy (hence the lack of blogs). Thank you for your prayers for me and for the ministry I am involved in! Within 3 weeks I have got my person number (normally takes 1 month) and my residents permit (normally 2 months), so thank you!

Over and out,
Jason

Wedged between eras!

Ok, so my boxes were picked up today, eventually after the first attempt from the couriers allowed them one look at the amount of boxes, and they realised they didn't have the space for them to fit in the van. Even thought they knew what they were picking up... anyway, after a lot of waiting my possessions are on their way to Sweden and I will be meeting them there on Monday.

It has been a pretty weird process of leaving, different emotions, and different feelings. Excitement, doubt (yes but as we know doubt is simply a way to challenge and be more sure than before), anxiety, nervousness, fear, extreme happiness and also sadness at leaving so many people behind who have been a huge part of my life for the last 2 years. (Sounds like I should be checking myself for bipolar...) But finishing equip has literally felt like the end of an era, and being in Sweden will be the start of a new era... so i'm kind of in-between era's at the moment and I don't know what to call that...

Whatever you call it I am wedged there, and the only thing that can un-wedge me will be the bump when I land at Gothenburg City Airport next monday morning! Then it will be the start of the new dual-linguistic era with lots of Fika breaks and if Annie has her way.. walks! I love walking, but I just don't think I appreciate it as much as Annie does. For me it's more the company than the activity. So I guess that is something in the new era.

I know this weird feeling will go once I am there, so I am going to cut myself a break. Someone told me recently that I am experiencing change in the 4 most stressful areas in life. So of course I going to feel out of place. But I do know that the one thing that is getting me through, apart from the fact I will be near to my wonderful fiancee once and for all, but that God has been the unchanging constant through the whole process. He went before me during the whole process and He continues to do so, being faithful as ever. The fact it has all come together so nicely can only be credit to Gods blessing on this whole move.

My next blog will be from Sweden next week, so stay tuned for that one!!

Ok, so that was a long day... or 5 months...

So hello again, that was a very long cup of tea and eventful to say the least. 5 months ago I was reflecting on what a crazy year it had been, and how God was doing incredible things amongst the youth of my church, and He's been at it again. Tonight I want to talk about one thing of many, and then I will be leading up to something very big that is changing my life and I need lots of prayer and support for, but lets sit back and relax and have a good time.

So what has happened to me? Well I have gotten engaged to Annie, my wonderful Swedish girlfriend-now-fiancee, I have led a retreat for 14-18s, I have been to New Wine Sweden, secured a house and a job in Sweden, and currently seeking sponsorship for the job as I go to Sweden next month. So exciting and scary times. I have been reflecting on that a lot recently, and God reminded me that when I started Equip I had accepted that He would be calling me elsewhere at the end of the two years. I was just not aware that it would be overseas and that He would be using someone so close to me in order to get me there. Annie and I have an amazing relationship and we do our best to keep God involved as much as we can, and the proof in the pudding here is that God has blessed us so much with a future together in Sweden, at least the near future anyway... who knows where God will send us next.

So lets start with the first big moment of the last 5 months, or should I call it the biggest moment of my life. Getting engaged to Annie. Now girls who are already engaged or married, please do get jealous of the effort I went into for Annie if your spouse didn't go to the same effort I did, and those not yet engaged... This type of thing could be something to hope and pray for. Guys, take note. Ok, so I am getting a bit proud now but my main focus for this proposal was to make Annie feel special... and I think that worked. 

Now we had been talking about marriage quite a bit, and it got to the stage where I just had to do it. When we started the relationship we were already living in separate countries so we knew it had to be serious from the start, and we were committed from then, yes even me the commitment-phobe, or should I say now ex-commitment-phobe!!! Haha- in your face scaredy cat Jason of years before, I am making a commitment and its for life... what? for life...  hang on... have I really thought this through... ermm..... :) Of course I have. But it took a lot of processing in order to do that... anyway. On with the proposal. So I had to ask her dad for permission, in Swedish. He doesn't speak much English at all, and to be fair thats ok. He doesn't work internationally, and until his only daughter started dating a handsome English stud (yes thats me), he probably didn't really expect he would need to learn it. And in Sweden with the high level of equality, I didn't actually need to ask him for permission. But with my British tradition, morals and values, I would still ask as it is only polite and this would be a big moment for both of us. He said yes!!!  The hard part was over...ish. I had spoken nearly perfect Swedish to ask the second biggest question of my life. Now if that's not commitment to the cause, I don't know what is. 

So to skip a few parts, (I still need some stories for the wedding day...) I had chosen the date, Annie's next visit to England, the style, and got the ring. I had arranged for one of her best friends to meet up with us both on the day of her arrival, playing down the whole evening with a story about hanging out with friends to watch a film and scoff our faces with greasy pizza. What I actually had arranged was a 3 course meal for the two of us (cooked by me), candlelit of course, and a creation of light in my back garden. I found an excuse to leave Annie with her friend for a couple of hours, and for her friend, the wonderful Bianca to bring her to the house at an allotted time. She was in on the plan. Annie walked through the door to see the meal set out and me stood in the back garden with biggest, and probably very scary smile on my face. Annie then walked up to me at the back, and we exchanged pleasantries and I got down on to one knee. I don't feel it right to fully say everything we said as it was a very special time for us both and there needs to be something we can keep special. You might find more out on the wedding day or at the blessing back in England. But of course she said YES!!! The scariest and happiest moment of my live. Here are a few pictures to show exactly what it looked like. 

The best thing about the whole thing was that we both had the best night ever, and still think back to that night on the 20th February 2012; the day we chose to commit ourselves to each other for life and help lead each other closer to God in our relationship. The commitment of marriage is a special one and shouldn't be taken lightly but when you find that one person then do it in communion with God bringing Him into all your decisions and see how He really blesses you. We are still trying to fully do this and He has already blessed us so much with answered prayers and fruitful ministries, so how much more might He bless us if we can involve Him more. It also shows that God isn't after perfection, He achieves that for us when He forgives us and wipes our slate clean. But He is after faithfulness and obedience, and most importantly our love. The only way we really know how to love one another is by knowing God, because He is love and He showed us love first. Thats what it really comes down to. If we centre our relationships in that, then we can't go much wrong!

So that's been a bit of an insight of what I have gotten up to. Not so much youth work based, but it was such a big moment in my life, I felt I had to share it. Next I will be talking about the youth weekend away and then my next step to Sweden where you, my readers, can play a part in something big God is doing. 

Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for the next part of the 5 months. 

The Captain, Jason

Wow, Nearly a year since my last post...

I can't actually believe it, it has been 10 months. I could say I have been lazy and have found better things to do, but I have seriously been busy. I am also very busy right now, with essays and coursework coming out of my ear but after finishing a night of youth work, following a day of planning and setting up for the youth group, studying is the last thing I want to do.

Sooooo I will start using this time to blog, and catch you, my committed readers (not committed in the neurological sense, but the loyalty sense), up on what I have been up to in the last year. It will be over a few posts, but my aim is to bring you up to speed, then carry on blogging after, sharing experiences, and building community. I am planning on moving to Sweden for a year (at least) in September, and realising the importance of sharing our skills and experiences to help each other and build each other up. Youth ministry can be lonely at times, but it doesn't need to be.

My amazing girlfriend has also gone skiing for a week, and has limited internet access, so I have a little spare time from that too. :)

I left you at Easter, after an exciting term with Friday Night Chill, and the 5 Weekender, and how they had been successful in different ways. At the end of term we hosted Time at the Cross for Youth, an interactive experience for 11 to 18s to experience and worship God, concentrating and reflecting on what the cross could mean for them. We have young people at all different stages of where they are at with their faith, so we had to cater for many areas. We ended up with a mural designed by my colleague Tristan, and painted by a group of young people. A prayer board drawn by one of the 16yr olds, and painted by 10 others, a chocolate cross, broken and given out at the end, which could be seen as a communion style ritual, each taking up a part of the Cross and choosing to 'nom' it (the local word for consume) and take it home. I know it isn't theologically sound, but it tasted good, and it was another way of breaking down how accessible the cross is to everyone. It also brought Tristan much closer to meeting Jesus on the day, when he choked on a part of the Cross, and ended up in me performing the heimlich maneuver on him to dislodge the oversized piece of chocolate. Well second time luck anyway. But fear not, he is still alive and well. This is the Cross in question:

The main youth hall consisted of a worship band, leading charismatic worship, followed by a dramatisation of a bullying story, written by Liz, our wonderful Youth Pastor. The story was read out in the pitch black room to really get a sense of being involved in the story. I could tell this touched on a few of the young peoples lives. This was then followed by more reflective worship involving lighting tealights as prayers and leaving them in a cliche but very fitting cross in the centre of the room.

After Easter, and a very relaxing time in Sweden with Annie and her family, we entered into our final term of the year. The weather wasn't as amazing as it was at Easter, and we had to cancel FNC In The Park in June because of heavy rain. That should put into perspective for you. The church also came out of a financial slum it had been in from the new year 2011. We acted in the way Nineveh acted when they heard God's judgement was coming, with prayer and fasting as a staff team. I just want to point out here that I didn't think God's judgement was coming upon us because of sinful ways, St Barnabas is far from that, but I certainly learned that prayer and fasting in any situation will certainly make you aware of God's mercy and grace, and give you that feeling of being in a life long embrace with Jesus himself.

St Barnabas is a church with a heavy missional focus, and the amount we do for the community, and the members and non-members alike is astounding, from the new-born children, through the youth, the young adults right up to the senior citizens. And reporting from the inside of this church, St Barnabas is a church with always brings the focus back to Jesus and give him the credit. Something that  has stuck in my head which explains this perfectly is something I heard from David White, Vicar at a local church to us. That is 'I can't, You never said I could! You can! YOU always said you would!'.

It is a faith centered church, with sound biblical doctrine and the prefect place for me to train. I can even go as far as saying it has helped me love the church, Jesus' church. And it isn't a walk in the park either doing the work we do. I have never understood the need for unity in the body of Christ more than I did from the Summer Term 2011. We need to love our church, in all its glory and failings! It's family. Need I say more.

I am loving this trainee worker scheme, which Equip was re-labelled as in September last year. I am completely living and loving my calling to youth ministry. There is still so much to learn, and probably still fail in, but I rest in the fact that the more I fail, the more I learn. Isn't that how Jesus teaches us?

I am continuing to be driven from my passion to see young people grow in relationship with Jesus, and lead each other in the right directions. The testimony from a young person to a young person is volumes louder than a testimony from me, and the influences young people have on each other are so heavy. I am realising more and more the importance to sow seeds where necessary and regularly, then eventually, you will sow them without even realising.

If you are a youth worker of any kind, volunteer, employed, in the church, or the secular world, training or qualified, my hat goes off to you all. This is important work, and God has called us all for a reason, and in our humility we need to refresh ourselves of our calling and follow His lead. This is not only the next generation rising up, its the current generation.

I feel the need for a cup of tea before I talk about the summer conferences and more things I have learned from the front line of youth ministry. Maybe a nap for a night. Thank you for reading this, and feel free to comment on this post, either via facebook, twitter or the comments section below.

All the best, (until tomorrow or in half an hour...)

The Captain :)

Easter Break... couldn't come soon enough...

Don't get me wrong, but this has just been a long term. And to top it off, because of a late easter, and the fact that because study and extra work on all departments has been piled on, our Easter break was postponed until this weekend. But the last term has been amazing... and I want to share that here...

It started off in January, and straight back into Friday Night Chill, with a new logo, designed by one of the young people and Tristan, one of my fellow youth work interns. The group has been running for 3 years, and this was a very monumental moment in the life of FNC. We are hoping to really use the logo this term on t-shirts and hoodies, cost dependant, but I am very excited about this. Here is the final version of the new logo, designed by Ben Shannon!!

I was very happy with this, and the young people are coming around to liking it. But that is just the physical look of the group, how about the God part. I have gone on a journey this term, with giving the group over to God. When my boss put me in charge of FNC back in September, I immediately started to suffer from the well known sin of pride, and making the group mine, but I realised, through two of my volunteers who asked if we can worship during prayers before we open the doors, that this group really is God's and I am just looking after it for him, with Jeannie, my co-leader. And since then, we have seen God break through in a few ways.

Just after half term, we had 2 healings at the end of the night. I was walking down with a group of the 14 year olds, when one girl told told me her finger had started hurting, so I immediately asked her if I could pray for her. She shrugged her shoulders and said why not, and her friends gathered round. I prayed a very quick prayer, getting straight to the point, and asking for healing in Jesus' name. And then stopped, looked at her, hoping for something. She then looked at me and shouted 'no way, that is so weird, you're like the next Jesus'. I stopped her right there and told her that it was Jesus using me. Then on of the boys watching had badly damaged his fingers and said 'try it on me'. My immediate inner reaction was like 'Jesus I hope you're on a roll here, cos it's hard to explain the now and not yet theology'. So I did the same short prayer and again, in amazement (and the look on his face was a picture), all the pain in his fingers had gone... He kept shouting, 'i can't believe it'. I then explained a little about how it really is Jesus doing this, and the best friend of the guy I had just prayed for asked 'so, can we do this as well?' A perfect question to be asked right then. I told him Yes, you can, in Jesus' name you can do many things. And that is something we all need to remember..... In Jesus we can do all things.

This is why I am doing this. These moments are what I live for. Seeing a young person get a glimpse of who God is.

2 other huge successes of this term was the 14-18s Weekend Away, which was at St Marks College in Saffron Walden, near Cambridge. Here we saw God really challenge and move amongst the young people. With Guest speaker Nikki Marfleet and the brilliant James Brown speaking on changing the world, using the story of Daniel and his rebellion against worshipping the golden statue to inspire how God can use us, we expected a brilliant time. And it was. St Marks were very welcoming and the staff there were extremely helpful. We had an afternoon of Trampolining, Archery, and the incredible Assault Course, then some team building exercises followed the fun low ropes. I think my favourite moment was seeing Darren, one of our SEN youths completing the assault course and the low ropes before shouting "AGAIN"!. The weekend however wasn't all disaster free. One of the young leaders had gotten excited and poured her entire roast dinner on her own lap. A classic moment, and one not many will ever forget.

One of my big projects for this term was to teach and enable a group of 11-14s at a local school to light their school production of Bugsy Malone. Word had gotten out about my past career, and it was a golden opportunity for the church to become a bigger presence at the school, and also to promote FNC, which half of the young people who go to FNC attend this school anyway. This project was a huge success for both the school and for my ministry. A couple of the students have started coming to FNC, and one of the students requested that we pray before the show. Just after this, the spotlight which had broken the night before suddenly started to work again. God showed us his presence a lot during that time. The young people wanted to carry on the after school club after easter, so we shall see what happens. But a lot of potential there.

So that was my last term in a nut-shell. There was sooo much more that happened, and I will find time to share these stories in the near future, but these were a few highlights. ]

My plan for the next month is to start a series on role models, and looking at the people that our youths are looking up to at the moment. One thing I would like from you, my reader, is to let me know who you think our current culture role models are, good and bad. This would be a great help in starting me off.

thank you for reading, and I hope you have a lovely couple of weeks. I will, I'll be in Sweden :)

many thanks,

The Captain :)

Why I do what I do and how I got here...

The simple saying 'because God has called me to this work' will simply not be enough for some people to understand, and there are a lot of people close to me who do not understand fully why I have made this change in my career. Even though a calling from God is what it took to get me on to this course and this new career path. Lets start though with what happened from my side.

Through the years I was working in the theatre, I had 3 year lighting design career behind me, I had been the Technical Stage Manager at a London theatre for a year, and I was volunteering for a friday night youth group at my church (Friday Night Chill), which was focussed on building relationships with the young people, and telling them about Jesus in that way. There was no God slot, or wrap up prayer at the end, it was just good friday night chill out fun. And I had always got a good feeling from spending time with these young people, and when I managed to bring some of my faith in to a conversation, or pray for someone, I was on a high, similar to the high I had got from a successful opening night in the theatre, or a good recommendation from a director to another director for my services as a lighting designer.

But this feeling was more than that, I was keeping those moments closer to my heart for a lot longer than before. I would feel good about my work for the night after the show, and maybe the next day, but then I would have to get on with the next show, and forget it. But when I had a God moment with the youth I spoke to, I was excited for a week! I would be telling people about these conversations and moments for over a week after it happened. This was a big deal!!!!

I started to commit to every friday night, making sure Fridays were covered my casual staff at the theatre, and racing down to the church to be in the Friday Night Chill team. I then got to a point a year after I had started my job where I knew that why life would look pretty similar in my job for a long long time. Even if I was getting paid more, I would be working completely unsociable hours, which before I was happy to do, but now it was not something I wanted. It was also a lonely job, and I am an extrovert (many who know me will be shocked...) so I love having people around me and spending time with people. And up till then, I was holding on to my plans, and even though God was steering ever so slightly, I was still holding them too tightly to my heart. So I had to let go...

And I did. I let completely go of my dreams, my desires, and gave them to God. This didn't mean that I didn't care if they didn't come to pass or not! I was saying to God, 'you have better plans for me beyond my wildest desires, and you know the desires of my heart. I trust you Jesus with all of this!' So I prayed a very simple prayer, which went a little like this 'Jesus, Here I am, I am yours! Do with me what You will, mould me and shape me. Amen' I will say at this point, this is a very dangerous prayer, because God answers prayers, not always in the way we want or expect, but He always has our best interest at heart. And He really shook things up for me.

I felt so much lighter, and things started to improve at work, I was being given a few more opportunities to lead at church and I felt happier. I found time to start volunteering for the Sunday Session, a sunday morning 11-14s congregation who made church fun and relevant to the young peoples lives. I found I was prioritising my volunteering for the youth team above a lot of other areas of my life. I still worked when I had to, even on friday nights and sundays when I had to, but every chance I got, I was there.

My heart was breaking for these young people. And I wanted to be involved a lot more. So I arranged a meeting with the youth pastor and told her of my desires to be more involved and find out what opportunities there were, which included leading small groups and preaching small talks in the sunday morning groups. Each time I was seeing more and more how important it was for young people to know Jesus, and know that Jesus wanted them to know Him. That God can speak to an 11 year old in exactly the same capacity as He does to a 55 year old vicar. This was important work, and I really felt a pull to being involved in this a lot more.

A few months passed and the church had started to publicise their new training course 'Equip', which was slightly different to the previous training scheme with a heavier focus on leadership and I was definitely interested. but I needed to know this was in Gods plan. At this time, I was still in debt, and the training scheme was an unpaid internship but they would supply accommodation, but I couldn't afford to also find time to work and pay off my university debts.

But in all conversations I could see how God was pushing me towards this internship, and this new lifestyle. And I was excited, I had reminded myself of the prayer I prayed the previous September, giving God the rule over my life, and that I was letting go. And on the 6th June I got my clearest 'sign' of all that God wanted me on Equip. I had sorted out a plan to get out of debt in the 2 months running up to september, which seemed impossible, but I knew God would make it possible if it was to happen, then 30 minutes before my interview was to start I got a call from my mum saying that she had received some inheritance and it was enough to wipe out the debt. Now I am not saying at all that I was celebrating the death of a relative because I wasn't. When my 2nd Cousin had passes away at 102, we were all very sad, and I know my family were deeply grieved, at the loss, but this was all unexpected. And God timed the news of this to come to me perfectly so that I would know it was from Him. This is a true testment to the perfection of God's timing and provisions.

So in the interview I was able to sit down and concentrate on the other important areas of why I had felt called to youth work, and that evening, I had been given a place on the course...

The rest of the story will follow, including healings by young people for young people, and some great times with some brilliant housemates... all to come...

Issue 1 of Captain's Youth Log

So i thought it would be useful to post the 1st issue of my newsletter, just so you all know what has happened up till now. This was published just before Christmas, and issue 2 will be coming out soon. Enjoy...

Stardate November 2010

Dear friend,

I am writing to you to tell you of a new calling on my life and how you can be involved in what

God is doing with me.

For the last 9 years I have lived in the theatre world, through training, amateur theatre, and

the last 4 years in professional theatre. This has been going well, but God has other plans.

From September I have been working for St Barnabas Church in Finchley as a trainee youth

pastor, studying youth work and theology as well as having very good hands on experience

in youth ministry. This is a blessing to be doing this at such a gospel filled church, where

even in the first few months of attending, I felt a part of the community. A real passion has

been welling up inside of me to bring the gospel to young people and I believe this position

has been an answer to prayer in giving me the training and mission I have been looking for.

In the 5 weeks I have been working with the young people, God has really been moving

amongst them, and I believe that not only are the youth tomorrows church, they are also

today’s church. They play a big part in building the church, and God can speak to a young

person just as clearly as He can speak to an adult. I didn’t know the Lord when I was

younger, and if I had given Jesus that same attention back then as I am now, life would have

been a lot simpler. It is important that God is a part of young peoples lives, it can transform

communities and families. I believe there is a lot we can learn from young people as well as

helping them grow in their faith. The role I hope to have in these young peoples lives is to be

a role model, and to offer friendship and a spiritual guide.

You can find out a lot more about the church I will be working for and what work the church

does at the church’s webiste, www.stbarnabas.co.uk

Prayer and Support

You can be a part of this too. During my time on this course, I would be grateful of all prayers. I have come up with some prayer points also, which I will be praying into.

-for protection during the more dangerous areas of the community

-for courage and support when things get tough

-for God to provide in all ways

-for personal spiritual growth

-for God-like wisdom in my studies

-for the youth of the world, that they will know and love Jesus how we do

-for my current friendships to stay alive and time to give to them

During the next 2 years, I will be living in faith of Gods provisions. He has already provided for me in such a magnificent way. If you would like to help further, please contact me, and I would love to talk to you further. But more than anything, I will value your prayers.

Until next time...

The start of a new blog...a new career...a new calling...

Welcome,

So, here it is, after 6 months into the new career I have finally gotten around to writing my first blog to along with my news letter (issue 1 i will post here).

What can you expect to read here, I hear you ask? Well there have been some brilliant moments so far, some trying moments, and many moments where God has really come through for us, and each time, completely exceeded our expectations. There have been healings, times when God has provided in abundance and times when lives have literally been transformed after God has intervened. I tend to use this blog to reflect on things I have seen, worked on and experienced. There will be however things that I can't talk about, things that are confidential that would be a breach of my contract to talk about. So be assured that everything I talk about comes isn't a secret.

I also intend to write on theological reflections, similar to my previous blog Writings of a recently born-again christian. I am studying Contextual Theology at St Paul's Theological Centre in London, so will have many reflections as I go on this journey with God that will broaden my understanding of His word, in the internationally renouned book, The Bible. The best book I own.

So hopefully this is enough of a reason to follow the blog. I would also appreciate your thoughts, and if there are any other youth works, youth pastors, and youth leaders out there, I would love to hear from you. We are working on the front line here when we work with young people, and helping to steer them in the right direction. So we must support each other in prayer and encouragement!

God bless,

Jason